The Champions League round of 16 delivered six thrashings, a crying goalkeeper and a 96th-minute penalty

Forty-eight hours. Eight matches. Thirty-one goals. The UEFA Champions League round of 16 delivered exactly what they promised: chaos, epic moments, and more than one humiliation that will be hard to forget.

Real Madrid resolved the match in a way that was almost offensive to Manchester City: 42% possession, three goals before halftime, and a Valverde hat-trick as the definitive argument. Thibaut Courtois recorded his second assist of the season with a long ball that completely dismantled City's press. The match's ironic punchline came when Vinícius missed a penalty in the 57th minute: Donnarumma saved it after calling him "il fenomeno" right before the kick. The Brazilian believed it. The goalkeeper did not.

PSG showed no mercy to Chelsea. It was 2-2 when goalkeeper Filip Jörgensen attempted to play out from the back and passed the ball directly to Barcola. What followed was a 5-2 debacle that leaves the tie effectively over before it reaches London.

Bergamo witnessed something not easily forgotten: Bayern Munich with 71% possession, 598 passes against the opponent's 223, and six goals without Harry Kane on the pitch. Olise bagged a brace; Musiala finished the job. The only uncomfortable note came at the end when Kimmich and Olise picked up yellow cards in the 83rd and 77th minutes respectively, with qualification already secured. Kimmich argued he "took too long looking for a pass." UEFA has no mechanism to penalize that. Everyone knows it. No one does anything.

Atlético de Madrid were even more ruthless. Four goals in the first 22 minutes. Tottenham goalkeeper Antonin Kinsky left the pitch in the 16th minute visibly shattered. His manager, Igor Tudor, had declared hours earlier that the club's priority was avoiding relegation in the Premier League. The players seemed to have taken him at his word.

While the giants destroyed each other, FK Bodø/Glimt kept writing its own chapter of the absurd. The Norwegian club, with an artificial turf stadium in the Arctic Circle, thrashed Sporting CP 3-0. This is the same team that had already eliminated Manchester City and Atlético in earlier stages of the season. At some point, it stopped being a surprise and started being a pattern.

Liverpool lost 1-0 in Istanbul to a Galatasaray side that scored in the 7th minute and then simply parked the bus. Mohamed Salah was subbed off at the 60th minute. Arne Slot thereby completed his one-hundredth match as manager of the team: no goals and four yellow cards.

Newcastle were six minutes away from achieving something historic. With a 1-0 lead and St. James' Park vibrating like never before, a foul by Thiaw in the box changed everything. Lamine Yamal, 17 years old and with the cold blood of someone who has been doing this for decades, converted the penalty in the 94th minute.

Arsenal's equalizer in Leverkusen also arrived in the 89th minute, also from the penalty spot, also thanks to Kai Havertz. Who was a Leverkusen player until two years ago. Football, when it wants to, has a script impossible to write.

The return legs are played next week. City need three goals at the Etihad. Chelsea need to overcome a three-goal deficit at Stamford Bridge. Tottenham need to find, first and foremost, a reason to believe they care.